“I’ve been working with Heart-to-Heart for two and a half years. We’re all about life and death education and support, and my role here involves organising workshops, events and taking calls at our hotline to help people get the appropriate counselling support that they need. When people experience a bereavement of a loved one, there is of course emotional pain, helplessness and sometimes guilt. However, sometimes we forget about the practical aspects of losing someone important to us in our life. People may have lost the sole breadwinner in the family, or a source of childcare - so we also try to guide them through the more practical aspects to gradually help them get back on their feet. Compassion is a huge part of my work. In moments of grief, we often try to say uplifting things to encourage people to move on or see the brighter side. From experience, that is counterproductive and often adds more pressure. What people need is to fully experience and express their emotions; and to know that it is totally normal to feel that way. I think compassion is about active listening, patience and accepting another’s emotions as fully valid.”

「我喺心繫心生命教育基金做咗兩年半。我哋嘅工作係圍繞生死教育同埋提供支援，我係負責搞工作坊、活動同埋聽熱線電話，去幫有需要嘅人搵到合適嘅輔導支援。當一個人面對至親離世嘅時候，情緒上固然會好傷痛、無助，有時甚至會覺得內疚。但係有時我哋會忽略咗失去至親對佢哋實際生活上嘅影響。有啲人嘅屋企可能會因此失去經濟支柱，或者係小朋友變咗冇人照顧，所以我哋亦都嘗試喺呢啲實際方面幫佢哋逐步適應新生活。同理心係我工作好重要嘅一部份。喺悲痛嘅時候，我哋成日會嘗試講一啲振奮嘅說話希望去鼓勵對方向前行或者睇開啲。係我嘅經驗裏面，咁樣反而會冇幫助，有時仲令佢哋更加大壓力。每一個人都需要完全經歷同埋表達佢哋嘅情感，需要知道佢哋會有咁嘅感受係好正常。我覺得用同理心去對待一個人係要用心去聆聽，有耐性同埋完全接納嗰個人嘅情感。

“What I really love about Heart-to-Heart is that we also encourage people to reframe how they live through the lens of death. A question that we always throw out there is - ‘How would you like your friends and family to describe you at your own memorial service?’. We want to empower people to live their life to the fullest with no regrets and to treasure the people around them - because our time on earth is so precious. For me, I would want to be remembered as someone who is kind, caring and for making a meaningful positive impact on people around me. Festivities and birthdays may be events worth celebrating for many of us, but for people going through a deep loss, these are the loneliest of occasions. We organise events during these times to get our community together to play, eat and connect, to give them a space to share openly and provide mutual support. There is a lot of taboo, especially in Asian cultures, around the topics of life and death - we are working to break through that stigma. It’s a universal human experience, after all!”

“The topics that I deal with are often quite heavy and emotionally-taxing, so to release and maintain balance, I love to play music and go boxing. I self-taught myself to play the guitar 10 years ago and have been loving it since. These activities really help me to get rid of any ‘emotional garbage’ that I have, in order to be in a better state to support others. I am also doing a Masters degree in Social Work, which I think will allow me to better serve my community. Through my work, I hear a lot of stories of energy, strength and resilience which inspire me to better overcome challenges in my own life. I really believe that one of the best ways to cope with grief is to be in nature and with people around us - it’s all about making connections!”

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「我好鍾意心繫心嘅工作，我哋會鼓勵人透過死亡呢件事去反思自己嘅人生。有一個問題我哋成日都會問：『喺你嘅葬禮入面，你會想你嘅朋友同埋家人點樣去形容你？』我哋想鼓勵每一個人去好好過佢哋嘅人生，唔好留低遺憾，珍惜身邊嘅人，因為我哋喺地球上嘅時間真係好寶貴。我自己嚟講，我想人哋記得我係一個善良、熱心關懷、同埋為身邊嘅人帶嚟正面影響嘅一個人。大時大節同埋生日可能對好多人嚟講係值得慶祝嘅事，但係對於經歷緊喪親之痛嘅人嚟講，呢啲往往係佢哋最覺得孤單嘅時候。我哋會喺呢啲時候搞一啲活動俾佢哋一齊玩吓、食吓嘢、聚吓，等佢哋有個空間可以抒發感受同埋互相支持。講起生死就會有好多禁忌，尤其是喺亞洲嘅文化裏面，我哋希望可以打破呢啲諗法，始終生死係每個人都要經歷嘅事！」

「我平日工作要處理嘅事件都幾沉重同埋傷感，所以我都鍾意玩音樂同埋打拳去釋放情緒同埋保持身心平衡。我喺10年前自己學識咗彈結他，就一直鍾意到而家。呢啲活動真係可以幫我去釋放所有情緒上嘅垃圾，令我有一個好嘅狀態去支援其他人。我亦都讀緊一個社工碩士課程，希望可以學習更加好嘅方法去幫我嘅服務對象。喺我嘅工作入面，我會聽到好多充滿力量同堅毅嘅故事，佢哋會啟發我更加勇敢去面對人生嘅挑戰。我好相信要面對悲傷嗰陣，其中一個最好嘅方法，就係同一啲事物建立連繫，同大自然又好，同身邊嘅人都好，嗰種連繫好重要！